so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
