That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
