Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
