READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
