you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
