why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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