Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
