I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
