I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
