as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When are your genitals available?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
