i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
