but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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