Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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