3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
