i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
