We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think my mom watched the whole time
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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