Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
