Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
