I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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