You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
