I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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