Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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