Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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