Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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