That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
