You're so nebulous sometimes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
