Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
