this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
