I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
