it was like his penis was on wheels.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
