and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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