Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
