Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
