I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
