You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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