glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
