I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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