the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
