Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
