i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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