the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
