dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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