So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
