i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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