A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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