I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
