I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
