He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
