He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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