Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
