She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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