I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
