I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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